Today I Sat With Somber. I Cried. (A Lot) But This Is What I Learned.

Somber.

It’s the best way I can describe it.

I woke up this morning feeling it. Without explanation. No warning. No reason. Just, WHAM! There is was.

I started my day on my favorite mountain bike trail before the sun woke up. Walking this time instead of riding.

As I sat on my boulder looking out over the valley, tears began to well up.

“Wait! Are you serious?!”

Am I “here” again?

“Why is this happening again?”

This somber feeling was now consuming my entire being.

I kept trying to push “somber” away. But the harder I tried, the more it seem to resist. And then I remembered what I’ve always said to my groups. “Sit with the emotion. Let it speak to you.” So I decided to sit with somber.

I didn’t have to sit long before I knew exactly what somber was saying.

“This hurts like hell!”

But wait a minute. That’s not what the emotion was saying to me, that’s what I was saying to the emotion. So I sat a little longer.

Every time my mind made out an image, presented a theory or a reason for why I was feeling this way, I allowed the…